One Year of Gay Marriage and the Fight Ahead

Americans like to talk about “where were you” moments. Our pivotal points in history are defined personally in part by the memories we have attached to them. Every generation has them. My grandparents remember hearing about the bombing of Pearl Harbor as well as the end of World War II. My parents remember the Kennedy assassination, but also when a man walked on the moon. My generation…well…we got September 11^th.

We recall what we were doing in that moment before we heard the news because it was the last time our lives went on uninfluenced by the shocking changes. I don’t know how many will regard the legalization of gay marriage the same way, but I certainly do. I was at the Verizon Wireless store at the time. My partner and I were getting new phones. The sales rep set up my phone and handed it to me to play with as she worked on hers. I immediately downloaded the Facebook app (because I have an addiction), and got logged on. When my feed appeared, that’s when I saw it: images of rainbow flags and cheering people in Washington. I saw headlines proclaiming a victory I’d been waiting decades to see.

It’s been a year to the day now. Gay marriage is still the law of the land. Some states have pushed back, and it’s given rise to the championing of a completely incorrect definition of religious liberty. Folks like Kim Davis still cling to bigoted notions that their faith gives them the right to not do their jobs. Still, after a landmark decision from the Supreme Court, there’s little the old guard can do to keep prejudice alive. It’s nice to have reached such a comfort zone, even if it still isn’t 100% safe. But if the decades since Roe Vs. Wade have taught us anything, it’s that those who trade in hate and exclusion will stop at nothing to see progression stopped.

Sadly, the main counterattack we’ve seen to this decision has been a shift in focus to the next, most vulnerable target: the transgender community. As states gave up the fight to ban gay marriage, they moved on to legislation that seeks to marginalize and dehumanize people like me. Many states have voted on legislation that bans transgender people from using their correct bathrooms. Some of those states, including mine, passed them. The transgender community has had the spotlight thrown on them in the last year. We’re suddenly the topic of news stories, think pieces, and political speeches. We’ve seen positive aspects of this, such as the rise of Laverne Cox and Jazz Jennings, but famous people can only help to sway the minds of the public; not vote on legislation.

What amazes me is how quickly the crosshairs were moved. Going back to Roe Vs. Wade, the decision didn’t end the struggle for abortion rights. Those who still think a woman shouldn’t be able to control her body exploit every loophole they can to keep it illegal. Aside from protecting the “rights” of the hateful from having to perform ceremonies or issue licenses, gay marriage has mostly been allowed to just stay in place for the last 12 months. What’s different here is that abortion didn’t have any kind of additional aspect that wasn’t covered under the decision. It’s a one question issue: does a woman have the right to do what she wants with her body.

LGBT issues are different because there are a lot of things under that umbrella. There’s the right to marry, sure, but there’s also the fights for adoption rights, gender expression, third gender recognition, legalized polyamory, etc. LGBT is broad on purpose. The whole notion of it is inclusion. While that lends strength to the movement, it also gives it multiple targets. When one target is out of reach, it’s just too easy for the enemy to simply move to the next one. And the sad thing is it’s partially the LGBT community’s fault.

As gay acceptance became a centerpiece of the American conversation, the other parts of the community weren’t carried into the spotlight. There was arguably some necessity to this. It’s easier to fight for change when that change is simple and focused. But this doesn’t excuse the fact that the T part of LGBT was largely forgotten, even by same community that claimed to include them. As gay acceptance dominated the conversation, the fight for gender identity and expression was silenced. Transgender men and women fought for marriage equality with the rest of the community, and were rewarded in the end by becoming the new target.

So, what does this mean? Well, that we as a community can’t take a moment to rest. Being LGBT (allies included) mean always having each other’s backs. Transgender people fought hard alongside homosexuals for marriage rights (yes, many of us are gay ourselves-me included-but you get the point). Now that this battle has been (at least for now) won, the gay community needs to keep that same energy and passion to help us out on this next battle. Transgender rights are going to come. Hateful laws like North Carolina’s HB2 will go away, but transgender people will experience a great deal of hardship in the national spotlight until that happens. The more voices added to the cry, the more it will be heard and the faster we reach our goal.

When our victory comes, and it will come, we in turn must stay vigilant for the next target. Once the law is on our side, they will come for the gender fluid, for the a-gender, for the polyamorous. There will always be another target, always a new battle. We must remain a united force. If we never allow complacency once our victory is found, those who fought alongside us will find there’s even faster.

Still, today should be a day of celebration. We need to look back on what we’ve accomplished and feel proud. Because pride is what we’re all about; pride in who we are and who we love; pride in our sense of community. But tomorrow, please let us continue to put that pride into action. There are many battles still ahead, and I will always keep fighting.

-Faith

Bowie, Prince, and the Death of Living Gods

2016 has been a year of death.

It seems every time I log onto social media, I’m seeing news articles breaking about how another beloved celebrity has left us. It’s sad, but of course all things come to an end. I think what’s hit harder than anything is the particular caliber of people that we’ve lost. Between Bowie and Prince, we’ve said goodbye to two artists so grand, so larger than life, that on some level we likely did think them immortal. These were people who dared to be different, to challenge what society considered “normal”. They defied norms of dress, music making, and expressions of gender identity. To us they were gods, and to see them fall as any other mortal would feels impossible.

In the wake of these deaths, many have spoken about the loss of the superstars. There’s been speculation that no other artist in the more recent generations has been able to achieve a similar status in the public eye. People like to bring up untalented and milk-toast artists who all sound the same, who all sing auto-tuned songs full of unimaginative lyrics written by teams of people. There is definitely some truth to this. When you listen to audible garbage like “Baby” by Justin Bieber, how can it hold anything against Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”?

There is, however, more to it then that. Artists have changed, sure, but there is still a lot of amazing talent out there. I think of bands like the Foo Fighters who write powerful, imaginative songs that showcase the talent involved. I think of artists like Lady Gaga who have talent and showmanship along with a daringness to be different and defy conventionality. The new generation has great artists; it has dreamers, visionaries, culture shapers, all the things that made the musicians who came before them great. So why are we convinced we’ll never have another Bowie, or another Prince? Well, I purpose it’s because of something this generation has that wasn’t around at the height of their fame.

Twitter.

Social media has changed the world in so many ways, but Twitter especially has changed the way we see celebrities. I remember when I was growing up how drastically different celebrity interaction was. If you wanted to talk to your favorite musician, actor, or whatever, you had to write a letter (ask your parents) to whatever address their agent or publisher designated for fan mail to go. You wrote your letter, sent it off, and maybe in a few months you might get some kind of response, though likely not.

When I was a kid, celebrities were untouchable. You only saw them in the movies or at concerts. The only glimpses you got into their “normal” lives were in magazine interviews or coverage of red carpet events. Everything about their lives was big and glamorous, and I feel the image of the god-like celebrity can only exist under circumstances like that. Twitter changed all of that. With Twitter, we can not only have a direct link to our celebrities, but we have a glimpse into the more mundane and…well…normal parts of their lives. Click follow on your favorite musician or movie star and suddenly you’ve got an all access pass to what they had for breakfast, what they’re thinking about, their feelings on current events, and whatever else they feel like sharing. More than that, you can tweet to them and have them answer you back, sometimes within seconds! The little girl me would have had her mind blown to know that would one day be possible!

It’s a new frontier, one full of new possibilities. But cultural shifts always leave old ways of thinking behind. We’ll likely never have another god-like superstar, but it’s not from a lack of talent or daring. The internet has touched our culture in more ways than we’ll ever be able to quantify, and as we think with excitement about what kinds of possibilities lay on the horizon, we must also admit that we’ll be leaving other things behind. Now, is it better to have the accessible star instead of the one shining brightly in the sky and out of reach? Well, I kind of think so, yea. There was always a fun to putting our idols on pedestals, but seeing them as just as normal as us offers more. Not only is the chance to have real interaction possible, but it’s a reminder that what they’ve accomplished is achievable to any who work hard and follow their dreams.

-Faith